Dignity is defined as being worthy of respect or honor. I often hear that everyone is deserving dignity at some level. It seems like a fairly understandable concept, but the practice of respecting people seems to be something that is pretty difficult to apply. It seems to be hardest to apply when it comes to money and resources; to put it plainly, it’s much harder to treat those who are deemed poor with respect, and honor is usually nowhere to be found.
This story is quite personal, but here it goes. There was a time early in Donna’s and my marriage when we didn’t have health insurance, and Donna became pregnant. This meant using the public health system in Philly at the time. On our first visit to the clinic, it was time to hear the baby’s heartbeat. We went to the clinic sign-in, and Iwas promptly told that I could not go back with Donna. There was a rule that, even though we were married, only the mothers could be seen. This meant I would miss hearing Joshua’s heartbeat while Donna was carrying him.
This was completely humiliating, and my dignity as a father was shattered. This is just one example of a system that has ways of operating that disrespected me as a father simply because we lacked resources. Their rules could disrespect me. I say the rules because the people enforcing them routinely said, “we don’t make the rules,” relieving themselves of any guilt in the trampling of dignity.
This kind of experience isn’t uncommon. We have made poor folks stand in lines for cheese, show ID and social security numbers for a bag of groceries, get double and triple checked for small loans, be gouged by predatory lending practices, and jump through all kinds of hoops to get a small leg-up financially. We have even figured out a way to tell the stories of poor folks but keep ourselves as the heroes in the stories, taking away the honor of them owning their own stories and victories.
Human dignity is a powerful antibiotic to the infectious system that often robs people of self-respect, especially if they lack resources and money. There should be a golden rule of dignity, something like “‘at all costs, keep dignity intact’ or “never let your personal agenda override a person’s dignity” or maybe even “if your help takes away honor from another then don’t help, because dignity is much more import than whatever undignified help you are offering.”
I think that there is a misconception that wealthier, privileged, and connected people are better than poor people. While many people won’t say that directly, actions and policy speak. The truth is that money and power don’t make anyone more or less than anyone else. The other truth is, you are worthy of honor and respect. Everyone is.